Self analysis

* self analysis *
These days of subterfuge are over
Who I was can raise up
The fearful warrior quavering
Before first battle of a war
The braggard full of bravado
To disguise cowardice at his core
Too many extra battles have been fought
Because refuse to acknowledge
Who I am is permanently broken
Who I was never was quite right
I laugh too eagerly and loudly
A dancing dog performing tricks
For scraps from the table
Or coins tossed upon the floor
I trust no one at all
Think my hypocrisy they will breach
See the coward cowering here
The brave man ashamed by fear
All the efforts I have exhausted
To conceal my lying mask
The decay set deep inside
The heart as cold as ice
The philosopher ignoring
Every true guide or principle
Not interested in growing up
A bonsai stunted character
Aiming to destory
This twisted malignant illness
This abomination in my sight
Staring in the mirror
I sense thise ceaseless fight
To grow or die or dissolve
No more absolving of my flaws
The hurts were all yesterday
Tomorrow beckons free
I need only embrace it
With a renewed reinvigorated accepting version
Of the person who could be me.