All at sea

* all at sea *
There is this tormenting sensation
Nuclear core melting through me
Of what is happening
And I still hang in denial
Of this world I would not have chosen
Abruptly feeling powerless
A flood of negativity sweeps through me
In examining what is this life
The sense of loss grows worse
So few eggs in which placed
All the aspirations of tomorrow
Expected outcomes have failed
My own certainty called into doubt
I would reach forward and say
There are better days ahead
But floodmarks on the wall
Where bad tidings rose to before
Fill me with an expectant dread
For I see those levels in future
Shall be dwarfed by what follows
Sunny face of hope
Need clash with rocky face of reality
All that could be is arriving
All that was is changing
And already I feel lost
Before the largest waves have reached me.