Thin line

*--___thin line___--*
How thin are the thoughts
This line between reason and emotion
Keeping a lid on chaos beneath
Seeking to understand this base of grief
Know from where and when
Though I dare not look down there
For else line of thoughts punctured
Allow emotions to rise up
The bad and enfeebling
Grief of a parent
Having lost a son
I should say never really knew him
Yet knew him before he was born
Saw him in minds eye
And in his twin I see his form
Such a Janus moment
Joy of birth and death
Little wonder struggle still
To understand it all
Hanging by a thread
Beneath life and death
Always thinking what could have been
And having to put aside these dreams
For there is no answer
Just a line of facts
Anything done differently
May have changed result
What we did we thought best
As did all those we did consult
Perhaps this grief just knowing
How fickle fate can be
All of the love and thought
Cannot always prevail
Death can claim dreams
Best intentions can fail
How thin is this line of thoughts
Between reason and despair
Thinking of a loved one
Who is not here.