a knight's lament

 *** a knight's lament ***
Blade is no longer keen
Armour tarnished and crumpled
Visage closes over careworn face
Eyes within dulled and hard
Threadbare is my saddlecloth
Heart ill mended too many times
Those unicorns I once embraced
Would not have me now
There is a muck beneath my skin
A hollowness deep within
No amount of washing can clean
Riches or conquest cannot fill
I thought myself a knight
And as knights be judged
Thought myself valourous and fair
A worthy candidate for Round Table
Should have realised even then
The most respected honoured knight
By his King and the Table
Was the courageous Lancelot
Who betrayed his King
Stole the heart of Guenivere
Who found the knightly virtues
All to heavy to carry forward
Shed them along the way
A man of ideals unimpeachable
Who found such a life unreachable
Now with battered helm
An old soldier's cynical eyes
I look upon the life I wrought
The days of dreams
The falls I had
The emptiness which beckons
And seek a final battle
A fitting bloody closure
To a life lived short of
All the vows I once swore.