addict

 * addict *
Days of long silver
Dreams of renown
Tired otters paddling
No stopping now
Gun in my rucksack
Joke mask in hand
This serious addiction
Is well out of hand
Wondering if ever
An exit was there
Go through doorway
Yelling obscenities
Mother would not know me
This isn't who I was
Not who thought I am
This itch under skin
Mindless burning need
Has ended rationality
Means truth is twisted
I fire a shot wildly
Someone suddenly move
These are my nightmare
Finger pulling the trigger
Madness spikes in my soul
Not really realising
What I am doing
The harsh squeal of tyres
As I run down the road
Escaping the bank
Gun thrown away
Rucksack forgotten
The angry faces staring
Through windscreens at me
They tackle me down
Those policemen in blue
Into a paddy wagon
Grilled window view
Can see it all clearly
Lost and so needy
This was my life once
Now other judges shall rule.